My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
