Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
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