She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
my sisters under your porch take her home
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
Randomize
