I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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