i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize