i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
