We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
You're earring is so big in my mouth
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize
