You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
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