she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Randomize
