I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Randomize
