I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Randomize
