I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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