That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
