We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
