She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
