Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
All I want is dick and wine.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Randomize
