he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Randomize
