and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
