its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize