it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Randomize
