u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
