escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Randomize
