someone threw a dead crab at me
Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
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