I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
My penis needs a shock collar
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
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