Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
i just had sex bonerless
In America we eat man semen.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Randomize
