My nipple is on Facebook.
I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
