C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Randomize
