If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize