And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Randomize
