I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Randomize
