So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
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