please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Randomize
