So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize