nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
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