why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Randomize
