I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
