I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
I need water and some morals
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
