sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
The air was thick with penises
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
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