dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
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