She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
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