Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize