He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
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