The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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