I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
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