Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
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