The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
