did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
Randomize
