you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
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