dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
Randomize
