He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
