Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
Randomize
