Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
i just had sex bonerless
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
