how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
