Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Randomize
