I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
Randomize
