Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize
