Pappa wants mamma naked
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
Randomize
