This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
you made out with another girl for some wings
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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