I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
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