Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
Randomize
