scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
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