$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
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