whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
Hippo gnu deer
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
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