She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
