Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Randomize
