I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Randomize
