Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
