No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
