we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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