I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Randomize
