I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
