He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Randomize
