do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
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