her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
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