just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
