Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
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