He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
Randomize