I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Randomize
