New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
im holly from the hills drunk
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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