Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Randomize
