One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
Floor bacon is actually really good
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
Randomize
